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This week, I managed to go to my local parish to pray in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament for an entire… 15 minutes. Okay, not very long, but it was a nice little trip during my lunch break on Wednesday. I'm not sure the last time I made it; I don’t know if I’ve been in a couple of years. Most of the parishes around me don’t have perpetual Adoration, and Wednesdays from 9 to 5 aren’t the easiest hours for non-retired people to make. A bit more effort has to be put in on my part in order to make it, and I'm glad I did this week.
Anyway, I finally made it to Adoration, and I was… somewhat underwhelmed. It came as a bit of a shock to me. Back in the day, I spent some time with Him almost every day, for at least a few minutes. I seem to remember that every second of it was profound. I was greatly blessed, and truly felt His presence. But this time, I found myself staring at what appeared to be—I don’t mean for this to be blasphemous—nothing more than a stale cracker.
Despite what it looked like, I still have faith that the Host before me is truly Christ: Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. But at that moment, my senses failed me. It reminded me of St. Thomas Aquinas’ hymn, Adoro te Devote:
"Visus, tactus, gustus in te fallitur,
Sed auditu solo tuto creditur."
(Seeing, touching, tasting are in thee deceived;
How says trusty hearing? that shall be believed)
Whether I feel overwhelmed with reverence or utterly distracted, Christ is still truly present. Whether I find myself rapt in mystical prayer or restless and unimpressed, He is there, waiting, longing, loving, giving Himself to me completely. My senses will fail me, but faith—hearing, receiving, trusting what has been revealed—will not.
And so, I sat there, silently singing one of my favorite hymns: "Credo quidquid dixit Dei Filius: nil hoc verbo veritatis verius."
(What God's Son has told me, take for truth I do;
Truth himself speaks truly or there's nothing true.)
Fifteen minutes isn’t much, but maybe it was enough. Enough to remind me that Christ is present even when I don’t feel it. Enough to challenge me to come back, to spend more time with Him, to let faith carry me where my senses fall short.
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